10 Apparent Signs You Had Better Give Your Partner Some Space
You sense your partner getting cranky
The first sign that someone is needs something — food, a nap, a pee break, anything at all — is when they get cranky. In a relationship, that crankiness could be the result of needing something a bit more than a nap and a snack. When a partner is cranky] this is the perfect time to pull away. Oftentimes, one partner can become testy if they've spent too much time with their mate. Each individual has their own need for private time. If that private time isn't honored, they'll begin looking for ways to exit your presence.
Don't take it personally. It doesn't mean your partner doesn't love you. If you think about it, you probably get cranky as well when you haven't been able to take care of yourself.
They're nowhere to be found
If your partner has been skulking off to other rooms, it could be their way of saying that they need some alone time. While this varies widely depending on the individual, some signs your partner may need to take some space for themselves might include ... turning towards their screens more or spending more time in the den or garage — any place where they can naturally get a little more space from you without asking for it directly.
You may be tempted to poke your head into the room and see what's up — and you certainly can — but take this as a signal your partner just needs time to themselves, and that doesn't mean they don't care.
Having “the talk”
Some guys take the direct approach. Your boyfriend might tell you directly that he wants space. This talk generally takes one of two directions. Some guys claim that the break is their fault, while others try to blame you.
However he approaches the conversation, try not to argue or beg. Maintain your dignity by thanking him for his honesty. Asking questions about his thoughts and feelings is fine, but pressuring him to reconsider will only cause him to retreat. If you want to express your continued desire to reunite, write him a letter.
He is scared to fully commit to you
Or in other words, he is scared of his feelings. Not all men are in touch with their feelings and they might have a difficult time expressing them or even dealing with them. So they get this need to pull away whenever they feel things are about to become more serious.
If you are the first woman he has ever considered as something more serious, he will be scared as hell. It will freak him out. On the other hand, if you are dealing with a real commitment-phobe he will run for his life and there is nothing you can do about it.
In either case, giving him space is the right thing to do. Forcing things and trying to tie him down won’t get you anywhere. He needs some distance in order to see things from a different perspective. If he is the man for you, some time apart will make him realize that he is just being stupid and that he will just spend all that time missing you like crazy. If things go any other way, you will at least avoid being strung along by someone who wasn’t good for you to start with.
He falls off the grid
Once a man falls off the grid, you know that he needs time away from you. Whether it’s not picking up your calls or ignoring your text messages, no communication is the clearest hint that you could get. This usually happens when men feel trapped.
Men can be pussies in the sense that they would rather disappear than confront you head on. This disappearing act of his may mean that he wants to leave for good, so how you react to this will greatly determine whether he stays or goes.
If you throw a hissy fit and come down hard on him, you make his decision that much easier. Try to practice understanding and empathy if this happens, and he will realize what a catch you are. Use this time away from each other to reflect on your relationship or to have some “me time.”
Your partner goes along with everything
Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean you should lose your identity. It's important to maintain that individuality always and not wake up one morning, realizing you've been saying, "yes," to everything and nodding your head because it was easy. If your partner just goes along with everything you say or do, without offering their input, then that's a very big sign that they need space.
It is important for a partner to encourage the other to take space for activity, socialization, and activities that lead to meaning and purpose. In other words, giving them the chance to form an opinion again.
He feels pressured into taking your relationship to the next level
This is connected to the first item on this list but it consists of his family, friends or even you pressuring him to take things to the next level—to become more committed, to move in or to get married. The more pressure you put on him, the more he will want to flee.
If you keep pressuring him, your relationship will end. If you relax and let things take their own course, he will get where you want him to be. Reverse psychology is all you need. If his friends and family are the ones putting on the pressure, make sure he knows that none of it is coming from you. Grant him the space he needs by talking openly and reassuring him that you don’t want to force anything and that you will let things fall into place in their own time.
He makes his own plans
Once your guy starts making his own plans and doesn’t confer with you, take it as a clear sign that he needs some space. When couples are in a happy and healthy relationship, there is usually no question about what is going to happen over the weekend.
It is a given that you are going to spend time together, whether it’s zoning out on the couch or heading off to the beach. When he makes his own plans, don’t go on a stalking rampage, because that’s just going to push him further away from you.
You fight too much
If he needs space because you fight all the time, you should reconsider your whole relationship. Just because you share strong feelings doesn’t mean you are compatible. Your constant fights indicate that you are not able to function normally.
Some time apart will do you good. Consider all the pros and cons of your relationship. See if you and your partner are able to find some common ground and a way to overcome your differences. If not, no matter how much it hurts, you will have to put an end to it. If you are not able to work as a team in your relationship and agree to disagree at some points, then as the relationship progresses, things will only get worse.
He cancels on you way too much
Whether it is delaying that eagerly anticipated trip to the museum together or canceling on date night yet again, you can be sure that he does not want to spend time with you. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. It could simply mean that he needs some personal time.
Spending time apart is not the worst thing ever as it will give you the chance to do things with your girlfriends, family or focus on yourself. That is probably just what he needs as well, so just let it be and don’t make too big a deal out of it. Ask him upfront if he needs space and if he says yes, give in to him.
Needing space doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t want to be with you. He just doesn’t want to be around you at that moment. Afterwards, he can address how he truly feels about the relationship. If he wants to go, at least he was honest. If he wants to stay, then you can truly say that absence made his heart grow fonder.