10 Golden Rules Every Couple Should Know To Have A Happy Relationship
Honesty is the best policy
Being accused of hiding something from your partner is not a great way to establish trust, which is essential to a good relationship. Do your very best to follow this golden rule that every relationship needs to know because the consequences of being less than honest are lonely and painful.
If you are unsure whether to tell your partner about something, ask yourself if they found out another way if they would be upset. Withholding information is likely to not win you any points with your partner either. Flat out lying is definitely frowned upon. Trust, once broken, is never quite the same again.
Always say what you mean
Open your mind and your heart to your partner and be prepared to share your innermost thoughts and desires. Share your feelings honestly with each other and it will help to build the trust that will keep your relationship strong.
You and your partner will argue, but knowing how to fight fairly will be an important skill to keep your relationship solid through the years. Things will not always be fair, but they should always be respectful of both partner’s needs. If one partner doesn’t get their way now, make sure that there are opportunities for them to get their way in the future.
The power balance in a relationship is often not balanced, especially for male and female couples. Researchers found that a relationship where the male partner had more power and was dominant were more likely to last long-term. On the other hand, another study found that power imbalances and unequal treatment was a reason that women more often cited for breakups than men did. Check in with your partner to see how they feel about the power balance in your relationship.
Never invalidate or erase the personal reality of someone you love
Every one of us counts on our partner supporting and validating the way we see the world, even if he or she doesn’t see it the same way. Though we are hopefully open to expanding or transforming our views by comparing them with our partner’s, our emotional sanity depends on trusting the world as we see it. If our partner tries to undo that reality, we feel unseen and erased.
All of us have been on the other end of statements like, “You’re crazy to think that way,” “That’s bull,” or “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” They are examples of what one partner may say to invalidate the world view of the other.
Be each other’s best friend
This one is as simple as that. If you want to have a happy love life, you should be your partner’s best friend. That means you two need to be open about everything and support each other no matter what.
Your partner should be the first person you are going to tell happy news to as well as someone on whom you will rely when life gets rough. Everything is much easier when you have a friend who will understand you and be there, and who is better than your loved one?
Don’t criticize your partner, be their biggest fan instead
No one is perfect, but you should be your partner’s biggest fan, not their harshest critic. A little gentle suggestion, here and there, of things that perhaps they could do differently is fine, but constant nit-picking and put downs are not the way to nurture a happy relationship.
Good and open communication is a key to a happy love life. If you won’t talk to your partner, they won’t know what is happening with you, and they won’t be able to help you. Instead, make your partner the person you will trust the most. Keep them in your life as much as you can, but don’t forget to have some time for you.
That is essential for a successful love relationship. Talk about problems but about positive things and plans for the future as well. In that way, you will learn what each other wants in life, and it is also a good way to make compromises.
Treasure and uphold a set of mutual beliefs and ethics
I cannot underscore enough how important it is for intimate partners to be authentic and open about what they hold sacred, as well as what they expect of each other, when they begin a relationship.
Thoughts, feelings, and attitudes can and do change over time, but partners in successful relationships are always up-to-date in revising and recommitting to the beliefs they share. Trust can only hold when each partner willingly supports those agreements, whether they are in each other’s presence or not.
Have regular sex
Sex is an essential part of every relationship, so it is something you need to pay attention to. If you love your man, it won’t be a problem to sleep with him. And if he loves you, he will understand that you will sometimes be drained because of taking care of the kids and household. It is all about understanding and seeing each other’s effort.
But when you have time and when you are in the mood, always spend some time focusing only on each other. It will make you bond and you will feel so close to each other.
Learn how to say sorry
One of the rules that should never be broken is being able and willing to say sorry, when you are in the wrong. Learning how to apologise and to not hold grudges is an important lesson on the way to learning how to live with, and love, another person.
Allow your partner more freedom
No one wants to be caged up, and the more freedom you can allow your partner to have, the greater their appreciation of the wide boundaries that you provide. In a study of breakups and relationship expectations, researchers found that partners who left wished that they had more freedom outside of the relationship.
We are not talking about the freedom to stray, but if you have restricted your partner’s coming and goings, activities, and friends, they are not likely to like being with you. For this golden rule, allow as much freedom for your partner as possible, because you cannot expect to keep someone who is chained to you happy.
Bids for connection are always honored
When either partner needs the attention or support of the other, that request must be responded to in some way. That doesn’t mean that what is being asked for can always be granted, but the interest and support is there.
Sometimes bids for connection can be presented in a demanding or self-serving manner, or at an inopportune time. But intimate partners who love each other are highly tuned to the other’s moods, needs, reflections, hopes, dreams, worries, hungers, frustrations, and sorrows. They are joined in their hearts, and one cannot feel okay staying separate if the other needs to connect.
Show your partner how much they mean to you
We often forget to tell our partners how much we actually love them because we are living in a busy world. But it shouldn’t be like that. So, if you want a happy love life, always make sure that you stop for a second and tell your man how much you love him and how much you are blessed and thankful to have him in your life.
He will know how to cherish that and it will be easier for him to show you his love. Guys sometimes need just a little push to express their emotions, so be the first one who will show them how much you actually care about them.
Never blame the other partner for what you cannot be, have, or achieve in your own life
Perhaps it is a dark part of human nature to place accountability for unhappiness or failure away from oneself, but it is a disaster in a love relationship. People do look to their intimate partners as a source of stability, comfort, and safety, as well they should. But a person’s desires and hopes are not the other partner's responsibility to fulfill.
Yes, one lover’s needs should be a high priority, but every desire expressed by one partner cannot always be automatically the goal of the other, no matter what the circumstances. No partner deserves to be automatically held accountable to meet them.
Continue to grow beyond your own limitations
All human beings need both security and challenge, whether alone or in a relationship. Too much predictability seduces boredom and eventual decay. Too many risks can undermine the comfort of familiarity. The partners in long-term, successful relationships know that they must preserve discovery, both within and between themselves. Every person knows where he or she is “locked-in” and where they are flexible. Openness to new ideas and adventures challenges the status quo, but introduces the differences that make for depth and possibility.
Just think what it would be like to read the same book every year. Some of the passages would still be exciting and interesting, but all would lose their luster if they were simply repeated exactly as they were once written. When partners in a long-standing relationship tell me they can finish each other’s sentences, I am not happy: Why bother talking if you will always know what the other partner is going to say?
These relationship rules could seem simple, but following them to the tee can make all the difference between a romantic relationship and a failed affair. If you really do treasure your love, make a difference with these tips. You won’t regret it!