Are You Dating A Drama Queen? 19 Unmistakable Signs To Know For Sure!
It’s like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster
In general, rollercoasters are fun but not this one. This one is a nightmare, and it’s like you’ve been glued to the seat. There are so many ups and downs with her, you don’t even remember half of them anymore.
It’s now just become a part of the relationship that you’ve adapted to. And no matter how hard you try, you can never stabilize the situation. That’s probably because you love the highs.
She drains your energy
While you’re exhausted after being in her presence, she’s now fully energized. Yes, she has this magnetic energy and smile but that comes with a price. After spending some time with her, it’s like you just ran a marathon, uphill.
A drama queen doesn’t get to where she’s at by giving off good energy, she gets to where she’s at by sucking out the energy of others around her.
She throws tantrums
Even though your date may look a gorgeous twenty-seven year old, if she is a drama queen she will perhaps have the emotional age of someone one-third of her age. This is because drama queens are childish in the way that they always want to be the center of attention; they believe the world revolves around them and like a child they cannot understand – or don’t want to – why their needs and feelings should not come first. Thus when anything falls short of their expectations or their wishes are thwarted, your girlfriend may react by having a scene. Incidentally she is only too aware where her tantrums will not work – for example may be at the courthouse or hospital – and thus it is only with you that she makes a scene because she is sure of the effect she will have.
You have 101 problems, and it’s all your fault
The drama queen rarely takes accountability for your misery or your mutual relationship issues. She likes to blame you for everything: every single problem in the relationship, every argument, every time that you fight it going to be your fault. It doesn’t matter if you feel like you’re right, because you will eventually cave in just to keep the relationship going, and diffuse the issues. The problem is that you will end up doing this too much. You will take the blame for many things that really just aren’t your fault, and you knowingly take bullets to save your relationship, because you happen to be dating an attractive spitfire (she’s also used to getting her way with men). Beauty sometimes does have a price.
She likes creating storms in a tea cup
If your girlfriend needs only a tiny excuse to create a big storm, then she is a drama queen.
Drama queens don’t do quiet and peaceful solitude. They constantly manipulate any situation to stir things up. Sometimes it is deliberate. Other times, they do it because it is in their DNA.
They are not beyond gossip and rumor mongering of the vicious kinds just to cause trouble.
She always assume the worst
Things happen in life that set us back – it’s a fact of human existence. Rational people will inquire thoughtfully to such setbacks and respond appropriately. However, drama queens – for the most part – are not the most rational people. As such, they’ll forgo any logical response and immediately assume that the worst happened.
Running late? They’ll assume you don’t care. Need to delay that rendezvous because of work? They’ll believe you’re blowing them off. So on…and so on…
Her never ending doubts can go to any extent
While you are frustrated being stuck in the rains for more than 2 hours, she has already imagined you cheating on her with your colleague. Her imaginations can go as berserk as possible and it’s you who has to deal with all her crazy thoughts. No matter how much you try to convince her, she will never trust you and would get on with her drama and emotional blackmail.
Nothing is good enough for her
You could rob a bank and show up at her front door with one million dollars, but she still wouldn’t be happy with what you did. Why didn’t you aim for two million instead? See, what happens is you spend most of your time trying to please her because she’s never happy. In addition, she uses this to manipulate you, so next time, she gets what she wants.
She tells you what she wants
This is different from asking. She’s not asking you if you can do something for her, she’s telling you to do it. In other words, you’re like a servant. Is this effective communication? Absolutely not, but she’s not looking for someone to communicate with on a deep level, she’s looking for a guy that’ll run everywhere to please her.
She reacts only emotionally
The most obvious sign of a drama queen is that she has an emotional reaction to everything around her. If service is slow at a restaurant, she naturally assumes that people are being mean to her; if you have to leave early for an important presentation next morning, you hate being with her. Even a harmless conversation on favourite movies, sports and vacation getaways can turn into an emotional expression of what she feels, thinks and needs. In fact, the excessive emotionality which characterizes a drama queen also affects her own equanimity. Thus if your girlfriend is offended by something someone says or does, she will keep thinking and talking about this problem all days and nights. The concept of shrugging things off is alien to her; she tends to personalize words and gestures and even when she is not specifically the object of a conversation or an act, she may keep obsessing about it.
Your girlfriend is a drama queen if she is a control freak
One weapon in the arsenal of drama queens is their eloquent tongues. They are always rattling away non-stop about this or that.
And because of that, they feel compelled to make things meet up to their own spurious standards.
At first it may look as if they are aiming for perfection. After a while, you get to understand that all they want is to control every aspect of anything connected to them.
They are the ultimate micro managers with an obsession over tiny details that sometimes don’t even exist.
The grass is always greener on the other side
Drama queens spend a lot of time comparing their lives to others. For that reason, nothing is good enough for them except it is exclusive and is the best.
And sometimes, even exclusivity is not enough to stop them bitching about how they measure up relative to others.
A drama queen would drive your insane with a constant stream of how every bit of her life stacks up against families, friends, colleagues, and the neighbors.
She can build you up and tear you down
Here’s the thing, when a drama queen believes in you, she’ll build you up so that you can achieve great things. You start to have confidence in yourself which is a great advantage to dating a drama queen. But there’s one thing, if you’re not following her instructions and doing what she wants, she’ll strip everything from you and leave you how you were when she found you.
She is drawn to conflict
When a drama queen does not have enough going on in her life, then she must stir things up. At those rare moments when she has nothing to make herself the center of attention, she must do or say something that will rouse tempers or at least feelings and voices. So you may find that you are constantly defending yourself, even over the most mundane of things. Also, watch out for her stirring up drama when she isn't at the center of the conflict. For instance, when you're in a potentially confrontational situation with someone else, it is likely that she says things to push your buttons, antagonize you and exacerbate the situation?
Your friends and family don’t like her
Your friends and family are looking out for your best interest. They know who you are and what you deserve. She may try to start drama between you and your family so that you pay more attention to her. She tries to manipulate your thoughts about your family. But in the end, all she wants is you to distance yourself from the people you love, except for her.
You feel like you’re in a Woody Allen film
There is so much drama in your relationship, that you can write a novel about it, and it seems like you’re living in a Woody Allen film. You’re waiting for that next dramatic shoe to drop, you walk on eggshells with her, and you don’t want to tick her off, because she happens to have a bad temper. If you feel like you’re in this situation, you are probably dating a drama queen. Of course, the drama takes on a life of its own. The relationship becomes stormy, tempestuous, and you’re waiting for the next hurricane of drama from her. Many drama queens actually need to have drama within their relationship. Without the drama in their relationship, it’s like breathing without oxygen. You want things to be calm, but the drama queen will get bored quickly in the relationship without the drama, so it gets stirred up, similar to a dramatic film, except you’re living it. Lucky you!
She can hold a grudge
You may have screwed up with her two weeks ago, but don’t worry, you’re still paying for it. She’s not someone who forgives and forgets. She’s more like someone who doesn’t forget and makes sure you beg for forgiveness. What can I say? She’s a drama queen.
If you feel that you’re always being held responsible for something and she constantly reminds you of it, well, she’s a drama queen.
She never apologizes
One aspect of a drama queen’s personality is the inability to accept responsibility for their actions. They never think of the consequences or don’t care about them.
So, if you find yourself always the peacemaker in the relationship even if she is at fault, then your girlfriend is a drama queen.
Drama queens would rather do something silly to shift everybody’s focus for the wrong she did than actually apologize. Committing a bigger infringement is an option just to avoid owning up and saying sorry.
Life is boring without her
Ah yes, you’ve tried to break up with her, but you end up back together with her. Why? Because your life is boring without her. Deep down, though she tortured you, you loved working for her forgiveness and trying to please her. So, is she really the problem or are you the problem? As much as you like the easy life, you love the drama as well.
Listen, dating a drama queen isn’t fun. Being a drama queen is deeply rooted inside of you. It stems off of the need for attention, self-esteem issues, and confidence. In other words, drama queens will use you up in order to keep them on a pedestal. Even I, who is a quasi-drama queen, doesn’t recommend that you date one. So, know the signs and then run.