Needing Some Space? 11 Simple Ways To Give Each Other Some Space For A Healthy Relationship
Accept the fact that you’re two different individuals
When two persons come together in a relationship, their individual lives take a backseat.. The separate ways become a single path leading to intimacy, deeper bond and selfless love. But, with years of togetherness, the feeling of being around to each other starts fading and what matters is love and understanding. Even the intensity of intimacy decrease with time and then one has to come back to his individual life and issues.
Couples who have given personal time and space to each other since the beginning of their relationship often don’t find this transition difficult but others might have a tough task accepting their partner’s need of individual space and asking for theirs.
Understand the needs of your partner
When you face a certain emotional stress or situation in life, you would want your partner to understand it. In the same way, try to understand your partner and realize his/her need for space. Listen calmly to what the other person has to express.
When the partner worries about upsetting you, he curbs his necessity to have space. This will later develop into bitterness in your love life. Try to ask the other person if there is any issue or matter that has to be talked about. This will make it easier for the partner.
The general rule is: respect your partner as well as yourself. Allow time for both of you to reflect on your feelings and needs so that you can better get along as one couple.
Don’t ask questions all the time
If you feel as if they need space, then you probably feel like something is wrong, they pull away, or you know something is changing. You ask them a question a minute, but until they are ready to let you in, they aren’t going to answer you.
They might not even know what they want or how they feel. All the questions do is to make them shut down and shut you out, which is a self-fulfilling prophecy to what you don’t want.
Put the phone down
Once you’ve made the decision to give them space, do not call and text them constantly, or at all. It’s fine to send out a nice, “I’m here if you need anything” text, but then leave it alone. Don’t keep finding ways to remind them you exist, because that is basically the opposite of giving them space. They didn’t forget about you, and just because they are not texting doesn’t mean they’re not thinking about you.
Whatever you do, don’t come up with all kinds of excuses as to why you simply must contact them, like “I have to show him this article” or “I have to tell him this funny story.” This will reek of neediness and insecurity and not having your own life.
You can enjoy life without sharing every moment of it with them. Just leave it alone for now and be patient.
Express yourself with love
Successful long term relationships involve readjusting distance on occasion. Reassure the other person of this. Remind them that this is not about wanting permanent space; it's about allowing for personal growth space as you continue to share your lives together.
Say something like, "I want you to understand that I love you and I value this relationship. I want space to help us grow, not because I want things to end."
You should also accept the other person's love. Remember, if someone asks you for space, it does not mean the relationship is ending. It just means the other person needs a bit more alone time to be happy.
Make your own decisions
When people get into relationships, they often leave their sense of individuality at home and become one. We wouldn’t recommend doing this anyway and especially when you two are having some time apart.
Standing on your own two feet and making decisions for yourself will allow you to feel more independent and less attached to your love. Decision-making is super powerful, and it helps you to grow when you’re both apart and it may eventually help if you have to walk away too.
Recognize you can’t control their decisions
If you truly want to know how to give someone space without losing them, you have to let go. You don’t have a choice in the matter. You can’t hold onto someone who doesn’t want to be held onto. If you look at it as a decision, then you put a lot of the onus on you and blame yourself for giving up.
You aren’t giving up, and you don’t have a choice. You can’t make someone stay. Giving them space isn’t what you are doing, let them decide for themselves what they need while you find what you need. The answer might surprise you.
Disjoint the hip joint
Are you co-joined twins? Of course not! So there is no need to follow your partner wherever he/she goes. Relax, we say. From the first ray of sun to the last minute of the day, you’re with your partner even if your partner is not with you. . This might work for a few weeks and even your partner may praise your dedication. But we ask you, do you have any life of your own or is it all about your partner? If latter is the case with you, we fear that you are on the verge of losing your individuality.
Free yourself from the shackles of your partner and go out, meet your friends, do things that you enjoy and recall your agenda in life. This way you’re taking out time for yourself as well as also letting your partner to have his own time.
Don’t obsess over it
Instead of thinking about the space between you two, think about other things. Obsessing over your relationship or the time away from each other will only make you want to go back to them before the time is right. This might even make you get in contact with them when all they need is a little time to themselves.
If you think that social media will be an issue then turn them off for a day or two. It’s a surprise we aren’t all walking around crazy with how much we all depend on technology and social media these days.
Is this the way that you want the relationship to be?
Limbo is hell, not the kind where you are bending under the stick, although wait… that is hell too. Do you want to be in a relationship with someone where you don’t know if they want you, they seem irritated with you, and you generally just know that something isn’t right?
The person you are with should love you unconditionally, treat you like they are happy to have you, and cherish every moment with you because life is too short.
Okay, times aren’t always going to be good. If you think they need space, then either they tell you something is wrong, or you know it in your own heart. Either way, you deserve to feel loved and appreciated, not anxiety ridden and confused.
Make it clear you’re giving them space
Be sure to tell your partner that you feel they need space and that this is what you are doing. If you don’t make it clear that you back off for a reason, then they might misinterpret your cooling off and think it is something you want.
Giving them space is only good if you let them know that they have it, not that you are pissed. They should leave for now knowing where you are at and where they are at with you, not that you are cold and aloof for no reason.
By learning how to give space in a relationship, you’d learn to keep the excitement alive by becoming a better individual with your own special qualities and memories. When it comes to knowing how to give someone space without losing them, whether they asked for room to breathe in the relationship, or you just feel it, the key is to move on with your own life. Explore what makes you happy, and if they are destined to be with you, they will come back. And as long as you have something new to share with your lover, your relationship will stay happy and exciting!