You Are Being Depleted: 10 Ways To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship
Accept your part in the relationship
It takes two to tango, right? What I’m trying to say is you need to accept your role in the relationship. Though you may not have done things that you think were as bad as your partner, you’re certainly not blameless.
Reflect and think about your behavior. But also make a commitment to yourself that you won’t let yourself get sucked back into an unhealthy relationship.
Stop being scared of change
Try to get past the idea of being scared of change. You may be comfortable in a relationship because you feel like you already know your partner and you feel scared that you might feel a void in your heart. It is hard at that point in time to cut ties with your partner who is the other half of this toxic relationship but it is so much better to be happy and alone than single and miserable.
Prior to being in a relationship with this person, you were probably comfortable being single and were afraid to break down walls and change. Do not let a lack of self-confidence from your partner breaking you down keep you from wanting your freedom back and out of this toxic relationship.
You’re going to go through self-healing
As much as we try to push these feelings down, many of the adult problems we suffer from are due to childhood trauma. Now, rid yourself of the shame that we have when leaving a toxic relationship, dig down deep within yourself.
Look at what brought you to get involved in a toxic relationship. If you look hard enough, you’ll find the answer.
This person is not the only one
Realize that you can live without this person. You may think that you cannot live without this person in your life. However, you really are tougher than you think you are. This person does not define who you are even though they may try to control you or destroy your self-confidence.
If someone is trying to tell you that you cannot ever do any better than them, it is like you are property or a possession to them. They have another thing coming. You are stronger than that and someone will appreciate you and will not use mind manipulation to make you think you are not worthy of someone better. Move on.
Find a lesson in the distress
Leaving a toxic relationship is rarely filled with only positive emotions. While you are in the midst of emotional distress, think about the relationship as a lesson for future relationships. One of the best ways to peacefully end a toxic relationship is to find a way to walk away having grown as a person and learned something about yourself.
Researchers at the University of Minnesota looked at people who were experiencing a breakup and their reported levels of personal growth after the end of a toxic relationship. The research participants who had the most personal growth were people who were rated highest in agreeableness. People who are agreeable tend to be kind, warm, and cooperative and, they seek out social relationship support after a breakup.
Stick with your decision
Once you make a decision, stick with it. You may keep mentally giving your partner one more chance and you keep thinking that he or she will get better in this toxic relationship. Eventually, one more chance is one too many. You have to decide that you cannot back out on this again and continue to take your partner back because there have not been any positive changes in your relationship.
You have to accept that it is toxic and decide that enough is enough and that you are done. Pack your stuff up and do not look back.
Keep knowing your value
Feel good about who you are, how you have grown, and what you offer in your personal and professional relationships. Knowing your value meant putting your emotional health first. Have compassion for yourself if you want to go back into your toxic relationship. It's normal to miss your ex, Stay mindful, however, that missing times that felt good does not mean that he was, or is, good for you.
If you have trouble remembering your own value then think about what you would say to a family member or close friend who wanted to return to a toxic relationship. Thinking about how you may value or advise someone else can help you treasure yourself and to move on.
Don’t stop loving yourself
You may believe that you are supposed to continue loving someone even through the rough times because, in theory, that is what true love is. However, sometimes it may not be you, that can deal with it and you should not have to either. Sometimes letting someone go is realizing that you love yourself more. You have to look out for number one and find your own happiness.
In a toxic relationship, you will not find it and you have to realize that. It is not uncommon to come to the realization that sometimes loving someone means letting go. You cannot accept each other’s flaws and you are not compatible and you have wasted enough time being miserable with the wrong person than being happy with the right one.
Forgive your ex
This isn’t for them, this is for you. If you want to fully move on from your partner and leave the relationship, then you need to forgive them and their part of the relationship.
Harboring feelings of anger, hurt, regret, or resentment will only hurt your own mental and psychological well-being. In order to help yourself heal completely, you will have to let go of the negative emotions that will otherwise hold you back. This can be a difficult choice to make because you may feel justified in feeling the way you do, however, your emotional state is a choice.
Look out for yourself
If you have to ask yourself, if a relationship is healthy, it is pretty likely that it is toxic. You may not want to hurt the other person but there may have been times that they hurt you pretty badly. So, you have to look out for yourself instead. The more confident that you are, the more likely you are to be in a loving relationship.
People with low self-esteem usually are the ones in toxic relationships because you are the one who is teaching the other how to treat you. If you accept someone treating you badly, they will take advantage of that weakness. Learn to realize that you do deserve love and happiness.
Remember any relationship that doesn't make us feel good or contribute to our well-being doesn't have to be tolerated. We can exercise our right to limit these relationships or eradicate them altogether. Doing so can be empowering and wonderful. If the other person does not appreciate you or love you in the way that you should be cared for and it is time for you to find a way out and cut your losses as hard as it may be. Don't hesitate to end your toxic relationship with these 10 tips.